When Michael was almost a year and a half, we got pregnant again.  We were so happy, but with a slight twinge of worry.  At some point early in the pregnancy, I was forced into bedrest but was very willing to go with it, if that was what was necessary to make it through the pregnancy.  My Mom came down to take care of our household chores and to watch Michael while David was at work.  My OB sent me for an ultrasound when I was 9 weeks along, and we learned then that this pregnancy had also miscarried.  At the 10 weeks point, I had another D&C.  That pregnancy's due date had been, ironically, exactly on Labor Day, 2002.

In the summer of 2003, we began the pre-testing necessary for infertility treatments.  Our health care insurance through David's place of employment offered coverage for these treatments.  We were responsible for co-pays with the doctor, and for the medications, basically.  Just as autumn was beginning, we started the treatments for an FSH/IUI.  On our first attempt, we did get pregnant, and were hoping for multiples again.  We won't ever know, for almost as soon as we learned of the positive results, I began to show signs of trouble again.  At 6 weeks, our doctor still hoping that if ours was a multiple pregnancy, said we might find a heartbeat still (as though perhaps I had lost a twin).  The ultrasound revealed no heartbeat.  That pregnancy's due date would have been around Michael's 4th birthday.

You came into my life in a very special way. I knew something was different. My body told me my life was about to change. I felt very hopeful that I was pregnant, but wanted to wait a few more days before I bought a pregnancy test. In hope, I did buy a little tan dog rattle, a few days ahead.

I knew for certain I was pregnant when I took a pregnancy test and it had a positive result, even before the test's time limit to wait.

I could hardly wait to tell someone about my pregnancy. I wanted to call others to share my news. The first person I told was your Dad!

Date and reaction to the news: July 31, 1999 we bought the test together, so he knew when I was taking the test. When I saw the result, I snuck into the closet to retrieve a book for your Dad (a book about expectant fathers), which I had purchased months ago. I attached a card (saying something like "Hello, Daddy!" with a baby on the front), and as I brought it into the living room, I smiled and handed him this simple gift, and started crying tears of joy. He got very excited when I assured him we were pregnant. He was sort of in shock (happy) and then we thanked the Lord, and asked for His blessings.

Others who heard my exciting news were Bubbe, who was very excited! Grandpa was very happy to hear the news too. Uncle Steve and Aunt Kajaun were next - Kajaun cried too! I called Aunt Wendy next, who got very excited and gave me some advice too. I had to wait to call Aunt Jill till the next morning as they were moving. She was ecstatic! She'd been praying for months, and Uncle David also congratulated us. I called my dear friend Dodie, who said, "Mazel Tov!" many times over. Your Dad called Uncle Ben, who was very excited! He also called Aunt Karen & Uncle Dave later too.

This was a very special time for me. Some of my thoughts and feelings were we have wanted to start a family, since we got married. We are very excited to become parents, but we realize we will need guidance as we raise you. We will seek God's help and not refuse advice from our friends who are raising children in godly homes.

Choosing a doctor/medical caregiver to take care of us and help bring you into the world was important. I chose Dr. Elliott because I wanted to go to an OB who would deliver at the most convenient and closest hospital I know of. Also Bubbe suggested I phone the nearest Crisis Pregnancy Center to check if the doctor I chose was pro-life. I was given Dr. Elliott's name by one of these centers. It seemed like the Lord was leading me to choose this doctor.

I will go there many times before you arrive. My first appointment was on Tuesday, August 31, 1999. My second prenatal appointment was scheduled for Tuesday, September 28, 1999. I was told I might get to hear your heartbeat then. I was so excited!

Instructions and advice the doctor/medical caregiver gave me during my first visit were to get in some exercise - walking or swimming; to drink about 4 glasses of skim milk a day; start taking prenatal vitamins (given prescription); eat more vegetables and proteins; call with any further questions, and to read the book What to Expect When You're Expecting (which I had already been reading). Also when I first walked in, they had prepared a packet of magazines, coupons and free samples for me to take home. Also gave me a list of allowed medications, etc.

I was also told that your arrival date would be about Tuesday April 4, 2000.

Some other things I wanted to discuss with my doctor/medical caregiver were When it was time to deliver, could my Mom be in the delivery room too (in addition to David)? - yes... Could David be present at a C-section birth, if necessary? - yes... Could the baby "room in" with me, during stay in hospital? - yes... (All of my other early questions were answered before I asked, or were in the literature.)

I decided that your place of arrival would be at Arlington Hospital.

I chose it because I knew where that hospital was, and it was fairly close to our apartment on Columbia Pike. I knew several different routes to it, in case of traffic or bad weather, for when the big day would come. Later I learned it was a teaching hospital, and the patient/nurse ratio was smaller, so we would be better cared for.

I wonder about family traits you might inherit: your Dad's red hair, and blue eyes. Your Aunt Karen's curly hair. Bubbe's, my sibs and mine music and art abilities. Bubbe's nose, and my ears. Uncle Steve's thick hair (lots of it).

And there are some family traits I hope you won't inherit: any illnesses in the families we came from.

I would like for you to know all that is happening in my life now. Here are some of the things I am thinking and doing while waiting for you to be born: We are thinking about moving to a larger home. We are currently in a small one bedroom apartment, done in charming colors, but too small to add a baby or two. Also Bubbe and Grandma might be moving in with us, and so we are looking for a 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom place. Bubbe would like a basement to herself, and Grandma would be on the 1st floor (to avoid stairs), and we would be on the 2nd floor. Someday I'd like to have room for a studio too.

Jobs I held outside the home: studio photographer (quit when I was 8 weeks pregnant, to avoid getting sick from customers' children)

Classes I took: We signed up for childbirth classes, to be held on Tuesday evenings, beginning January 4, 2000 and ending February 8, 2000.

Exercise routine: walking with David (anywhere from 20 minutes to a few hours)

How can the anticipation of one small child change my world so completely? It has, and I find I am absorbed with talking about you, reading about pregnancy and infant care, eating more healthy and exercise too. I want to give you the best start in life, as possible. Your Dad is very interested in preparing too.

My special memories of these first months of expecting you are trying to eat saltines in bed, with Chubby the cat right next to me. He loves saltines more than tuna I think! It always proved to be comical - wish we had taken a picture...

My most noticeable physical changes so far have been I've had indigestion, slight morning sickness, a stuffy nose and constipation. Though I don't show yet, the doctor who examined me at our first visit said my uterus was enlarging and was about the right size for being 9 weeks pregnant.

As far as my general health, I was fine until Sunday September 5, 1999 when I started spotting. I had to stay in bed until Tuesday, when I was examined and had 2 sonograms done. They found 2 empty gestational sacs; we would've had TWINS, if all had gone well. Another sonogram and exam on Thursday, and had a D&C on Friday, September 10, 1999. Said it was a blighted ovum. [note: later lab results indicated it had been a Partial Molar pregnancy]